Claustrophobic Lips (is that even possible?)

Oh Revlon. You very rarely let me down, but when you do, it's BIG TIME.

Now, I heart the Revlon ColorStay line. I love the ColorStay liquid foundation so much I could write a song about it. I also wouldn't know what to do without my ColorStay eyeliner or ColorStay Soft & Smooth Lipcolor.

So it brings me much sadness to tell you that ColorStay's newest and most promising product, ColorStay Ultimate Lipcolor, totally and completely blows.**

Now, I'm sure we've all tried our fair share of two-part long-wear lipcolors. Every line's got one, and the formula's basically the same for each product. You get one tube of color (usually with a wand applicator) and one clear gloss (sometimes it's a wand applicator, sometimes it's a clear balm). The clear topcoat is designed to give your lips back the moisture that the color part is slowly sucking out of them. The end result is color that stays on forever, but the side effect can (and usually is) parched lips. Oh how we suffer for our art!

So I was as excited as a kid on Christmas to try this new ColorStay product because the big claim is that it's the only long-wear lipcolor to have EVERYTHING, all in one tube. No two-part system needed because the "ultra-conditioning topcoat" is built-in! Also, they claim that your lipcolor will last 12 hours with ZERO touch-ups required, even through meals.

So I took a trip down to the drugstore today because I saw that Rite-Aid was having a BOGO for all Revlon products. I figured I'd buy an Ultimate Lipcolor and get my beloved foundation for free (foundation is $9.99 and Ultimate Lipcolor is $10.99).

When I got to Rite-Aid I saw the counter display with about 8 colors to choose from (the website says that this product is available in 20 shades, so I guess they're slowly rolling them out). I wasn't impressed in the slightest with the color selection because they all seemed pretty dark for spring (deep reds, browns, rusts, and berries). But I did manage to find one color that I thought might work on me: "Prized Peach." In the tube, this actually looks like a nude, pinky-brown with very subtle shimmer. Perfect!

Well I went to my Lipstick Fitting Room (AKA, my car) and from the moment I put it on, I knew I was in trouble. "Prized Peach" actually turned a rather bright shade of pink on my lips, not anywhere close to the neutral pinky-brown I've come to worship thanks to Bobbi Brown.

Do you remember those Avon lipsticks from the 70s? The ones in little white tester tubes that they'd give to you with purchase of an Avon product? The colors were so one-dimensional and flat that, upon application, it looked like you took a magenta-colored piece of chalk and swiped it on your lips. So...um...yeah. I felt like I was having a flashback to 1978 playing with my mom's Avon testers again. This pink was so flat, so dated, and so utterly awful, I could barely believe my eyes. I mean, it was worse than the first-generation long-wear lipcolors, and those were BAD.

Don't get me started on the actual texture of this product. When I rubbed my lips together, I seriously thought someone at the factory messed up and put crazy glue in the tube. My lips stuck together like I had just used a glue-stick as lip balm.

After some panic, I decided to just start my car and drive home. Maybe the warm afternoon breeze would make things better. Well, by the time I was halfway home, I suddenly felt like my lips were suffering from a case of claustrophobia. I mean, they felt trapped in this heavy, sticky, tacky, one-dimensional-color mess of a product. I finally had to get a baby wipe out of the glove box and set my lips free! And let me tell you, it felt like I was wiping off a lipstick straight jacket.

So I really can't recommend this product, but if you're brave enough to try it, leave a comment here and tell me if you have a better experience. I'm sincerely hoping you do...but we'll see.



** It should be noted that this is merely my humble opinion and your mileage may vary.