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Saturday, December 15, 2012

Love

To say that the last few days have contained a flood of emotions is a gross understatement. I struggled with writing this post last night and again this morning, because I just can't find an eloquent way of expressing my feelings and I still can't, but I feel the need to write something, so here goes:

Two days ago it was my birthday. Then yesterday, I attended traffic school all day. During our lunch break yesterday, we all got word of what happened in Connecticut. And then someone shared that over 20 children were stabbed in a Kindergarten class in China. Needless to say, it was surreal to then have to return to discussions of traffic laws, but we somehow muddled through.

There's nothing I can say here that hasn't already been said in a thousand more powerful and heartfelt ways. I tried my best to push through yesterday and keep a smile on my face as Mr. G took me out for my big birthday surprise (I don't even feel right discussing that in this post, so I'll save it for another time). But inside, I struggled to keep from breaking down at every moment.

So the one thing I want to say to you is this: it feels really shallow to blog about beauty right now. I can't seem to get excited about it, and if I don't have my inner excitement pouring through my words and onto your screen, then I feel like I might as well not blog at all.  

However, I realize that many, many of us use beauty blogs (and other types of online activities) as a means of escape when the problems and tragedies and heartbreaks of real life become too much to bear. I know first hand what it's like to have so much pain in your heart that you just want to run away and get lost in something that in no way reminds you of what you're going through. Whether that's looking at shoes, craft projects or pink lipstick, it doesn't matter. It's all silly, but it's something.

So I'm going to push through and keep blogging--and PLEASE don't view that as me saying, "I'm a martyr and even though it hurts, I'm doing it for you." That is NOT what I'm saying. I'm doing it for BOTH of us and, quite honestly, probably more for myself than anyone. It's one of the only things I can think of right now that I can do to take my own mind off children whose lives have been cut tragically short, children who have been robbed of their innocence, and families who are now grieving in ways that are incomprehensible to me. 

When the evil and ugliness of our world become too much to process and we need something silly and stupid to take us away, even for just five minutes, please know that you are always welcome here. This sweet and loving little community will wrap you in its virtual arms and help you share in the small, silly delights of lipstick and nail polish, whenever you need it the most.

With all the love in my heart that I can muster,
G. xo

83 COMMENTS:

  1. What a great post G. I absolutely agree, it does feel a little shallow to think about other things like makeup and such, when so many families have just had their life turned upside down. But when you think about it, it's better to keep blogging. It's something to take our minds off of anything else that has happened within the past day or so. It's better to feel happy and take your mind off the pain, then just keep thinking about it. xo

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  2. Thank you so much, I needed this. Yesterday I couldn't stop crying. It was just so awful, and I felt stupid and shallow while editing my blog. This helped.

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    1. You are SO welcome, Adeline. xoxo

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  3. beautiful post G, everytime I think about those children, the teachers or their parents and family I start to well up again. Its a different kind of pain whenever theres children involved

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    1. I know exactly what you mean...been doing the same thing all weekend. *hugs*

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  4. E-Hugs to you and all of us looking to find meaning behind the tragedy! Thank you for putting it so well!

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    1. *hugs right back* Lisalis. You are so welcome.

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  5. I needed this. Watching the news, and hearing about the 20 innocent children who died, and the teachers and principle that died trying to protect them, brings tears to my eyes. Newtown is only 2hours away from where I live, and it gets overwhelming to think of what those families are going through (especially with Christmas right around the corner). Reading my favorite beauty blogs ( blogging myself) , is a way to escape the harsh reality of whats going on.

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    1. I'm so glad I could help, even in a very small way. You are most definitely not alone. xo

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  6. Very well written G! Yesterday I had to take a break from reading blogs, twitter chats and entering giveaways, it just seemed so shallow to be trying to win something when so many lost so much. I think it hit everyone hard yesterday. Today its time to try to move on and start healing. It was hard to get out today and do the Christmas errands I have to finish but I kicked my butt into gear and did it. My thoughts have gone to the families many times but we do have ours to think of. I think it is time for us all to try to enjoy what we love again. The hardest part of being out of the house is not knowing if its safe to be out but we have to do it. Now that I'm home I want to try to take my mind off the worry of what our world has come to. Blogs and makeup take us away and we enjoy it. Glad you are back for us!
    Peg~

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    1. Thank you SO much, Peg. That really means a lot to me. *hugs* and much love to you. xo

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  7. I was pretty upset yesterday too. And angry. I'm still probably not done crying yet; I'll probably break down at church tomorrow -__-; It's just so horrible that someone would do such a thing.

    I agree that little things can help get us through rough stuff; it's sometimes helpful to have distractions. I don't think it's silly at all. It doesn't mean we're not sad, it means we understand we have to move on.

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  8. Thank you G. For me, beauty blogs/vlogs have been a bit of solace in a time that is often dark. There is something wonderfully happy and enthusiastic about the beauty community that never fails to make me smile - even in these dark days. I like having that, I cherish it, it makes me unbelievably happy to watch videos of gurus I love be their normal, happy, peppy selves. Thank god for beauty people.

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  9. What a beautiful person you are, inside and out, G! To have had the wherewithal to put the words together to compose such a heartfelt post shows how much strength and love you have in your heart.

    I, too, sometimes use this and other blogs to escape the ugly realities of 'real life.' I also depend greatly on my cats for their unconditional love. Animals have a way of showing love, devotion and thanks for loving them, without words. When incomprehensible tragedies take place, and no words seem right, we need to escape to our 'places' where words are not needed, wherever those places may be.

    Thank you for your ability to find words to help us all start to heal, G. You gave us a beautiful post.

    Isis xoxo

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    1. Oh Isis, you are far too kind. Thank YOU for saying what you did, and for letting me know that i'm not alone. I so wish I could hug you for real right now. :)

      Love you.

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  10. Hon, that's life. You just have to face it and keep going on. Cherish what you have, while you have it, because you never know what's around the corner.

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    1. Agreed. Life is filled with incredible highs and lows and we all must do our best to roll with the punches. But when things like this happen, it gets a little harder to chalk it up to ”life”, and I just wanted to acknowledge that i'm here for those who may need a brief escape from the tragedy.

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  11. Very well said. When my life really starts to get me down, I do find a kind of escape in blogging. It's a good distraction.

    Lou x

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  12. I couldn't agree with you any more, G. It is sad to think that when tragic events like this seem to destroy the lives of unfortunate families out there, the world cannot do anything but continue to turn. Incidents like this remind us that we as a human race are very insignificant in the large scope of things. Time is relentless and cruel; it will force us to carry on with our lives regardless of how we feel. I don't blame you G., for feeling that way when you perfect your blog, as it is the only thing we as people can feel. We must move on with life, even when it seems that the color has been stripped from the world as we know it. I don't really want to talk about myself too much, however I suffer from chronic depression and OCD. As silly as this sounds, makeup blogs and youtube channels help me escape from reality and lift the burdens that seem to come with living my life. What happened in Connecticut really reminded me that as hard as it is to realize sometimes, some people are much less fortunate than I am. Your post really spoke out to me, and I am so gracious that someone feels the way that I do somewhere out there. So let us humans do what we were created for. Remember, pray, and carry on.

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    1. Thank you so much for feeling comfortable enough here to share something so deeply personal with us. To know that I can, in some small way, help take your mind off your troubles means more to me than you can ever possibly know. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for sharing this, and i'm sending lots of love your way at this very moment. xoxo

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  13. Thank you for doing this post,I looked for your post yesterday.Because I was crying so much,I had to get away from it.
    Also I have to say is,I have to agree with some of these comments.

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  14. What has happened is so sad and tragic. I appreciate you reaching out and it is important to keep on keeping on, thought with love, and prayers for those affected in this great and sad tragedy.

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    1. Thank you so much, and I definitely agree. xoxo

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  15. Great post G. I wholeheartedly agree. This world is getting much too ugly.

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    1. It really is, which makes it all the more meaningful that we have places we can go and people in our lives to remind us of all the GOOD there still is in this life, you know? *hugs*

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  16. G, I had the same thoughts, and I thank you for expressing them so eloquently.

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    1. Thank YOU, Jammies. Sending lots of love your way. xo

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  17. Aw man, you choked me up, G. Thanks <3<3<3<3

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    1. Oooh, I didn't mean to cause MORE tears! Thank you so much, KD. Love and hugs to you. xoxo

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  18. G. thank you so much for writing this post, I've just had an empty feeling since yesterday that just won't go away. I need these blogs to really sometimes help me keep my sanity, they really are my escape & my haven. But yet it helps to know that we're not alone in feeling this way, & I thank God for people like you to know just what to say, but yet can still bring a smile to our face. Know that you are loved & appreciated, & you are helping many others get through this too. Thanks for being a beautiful person G.

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    1. Thank YOU for being a beautiful person, Kimberly. Your beauty was truly reflected in the words you wrote, and i'm so incredibly lucky to have you here. Much love to you. xoxo

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  19. Thank you for writing this. Thank you for reaching out for those who are affected by this.

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    1. Thank YOU, for saying such an incredibly sweet thing. *hugs*

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  20. I know I haven't ever felt so devastated for another person's loss as i have these past two days even though I haven't even met them. I have been praying for them ever since.

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  21. G, I first discovered your blog when I was with my four year old son in the hospital. It was a lengthy, and very difficult, hospitalization that was just one of many in his young life. Your blog became my small bit of escape after he fell asleep at night, and your reviews entertained and informed me about something that took me away from my worries for a brief bit of time. I have been a devoted reader ever since. Thank you for writing this, and for all you do to put a little bright spot in our days. All of my thoughts and prayers join yours, and those of your readers everywhere, for the families devastated by this unthinkable tragedy.

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    1. Rose, I think I've read your comment a dozen times since you left it yesterday, and every time my eyes have filled with tears. I will never be able to come up with the right words to properly express to you how humbled I am to know that I could provide you with any sort of brief diversion or escape from the agonizing situation you were in. The situation you were in that led to you finding me is heartbreaking, but the tiny consolation is that we found each other, and I am forever grateful that you're here.

      Please, please hug and kiss your beautiful little boy for me. There is a very special, sacred place in my heart for parents in your situation who have had to endure what you've gone through, and I hope with every fiber in my being that things improve for your son and that you never have to endure another sleepless night again. All my love to you and your family. xoxo

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  22. Thanks for posting this, it makes some blogs feel inhumane when they make no comment of the tragedies going on around. I understand that a blog's purpose is to produce content on a topic, but since blogs are also relatively personal, it makes it seems like some blogs just continue on as if they were oblivious to other events in the world. Though that's just how I feel, there are certainly less sensitive people out there.

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    1. Thank you, Julien. People deal with tragedy in many different ways, and I think that for some, it's best to not say anything at all because it might be too painful to put it into words. In my case, I was very scared to write this post because words are tricky and can be interpreted in so many ways. I was afraid I'd come across as insincere, and that's the last thing I'd ever want. Ultimately I just decided to let go and write from the heart, so it means more to me than you will ever know that my words seemed to resonate with you. Thank you so much. xo

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  23. Thanks for writing about this, G. One of the things I love about this blog is that you always acknowledge what's going on in real life.

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    1. Oh my goodness, thank you so much. It's hard for me to NOT blog about things like this, and even though some may not like it, I always have to go with my heart. *hugs*

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  24. I love you G! I have been a follower of your blog for a bit over a year now and I just love checking in at least once a day. There is nothing wrong with you posting blogs at times like this. After all this is what helps us escape from our daily routines for a couple of minutes and as tragic as this events are we can always go back to what gives us comfort even if its a beauty blog.. I have so much respect for you to even acknowledge what happens. Happy Birthday and Thank you!

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    1. I love you right back, Manii. :) Thank you so, so much for the incredibly kind words. *hugs* xo

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  25. Even just imagining the pain of losing my daughter in such a terrible way is overwhelming; I wish I could hug all these families and let them know that we're all grieving with them and would give anything for this not to have happened. I feel connected to them now, just as I feel connected to you with your kind and considerate nature. I hope it doesn't sound silly to say that even though we've never met, I consider you a friend. Reading your posts each day is like having a friendly chat.

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    1. clisa, that does NOT sound silly!! Not in the slightest! These days, we don't have to meet in person to be friends, and I definitely consider you a dear friend!! Sending much love to you. xoxo

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  26. Thank you.
    I didn't hear the news until this morning, but it still hit me hard.
    It's tragic to think about how so many children will never get to experience the little things, happy and sad, that we take for granted.
    And my heart goes to the parents who waited for their children at the fire station, but never were able to.
    It's tragic and heartbreaking. A parent should never have to bury their own child, especially not one so young and innocent.

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    1. I absolutely agree. This is a kind of pain that no parent should ever have to endure. Thank you for such a compassionate comment. xoxo

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  27. I've been between immersing myself in the news since yesterday and trying to not know anymore about about anything that's going on - both are painful; it's all just so hard to understand - just now I was trying to listen to some music to finally get my mind and heart ready for bed -- I'm soooo glad you wrote this, G...I really am. Others have said it before, but I want you to also know from my heart to yours - you are loved and you are appreciated. Thank you for everything that you do.

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    1. Oh my gosh, honey, from MY heart to yours, thank you for being such a beautiful person, and thank you for being my friend. I love and adore you. xoxo

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  28. Awesome post. I feel guilty that my life goes on like normal, and that I continue to Christmas shopping when so many are mourning. Thanks for your post. Hugs from Visalia :)

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    1. Sending big, warm hugs to you in Visalia! Thank you so, so much. xoxo

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    1. <3 right back to you, SMMY. xoxo

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  30. I love this post- beautifully written and exactly how I feel:( I'm a long reader of your blog. It dont comment as much. I get asked a lot why I'm so into makeup, why I'm so into mu blogs- I have enough stress and problems in my life that it's a small escape for me. I'm not bothering anyone, just trying to ease my my mind for a bit and I appreciate you and your blog. xx

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    1. Thank you so much, yessie, for taking the time to comment here. I hope to see you around here more. :) *hugs*

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  31. i completely understand you, happens to me too. i spend the entire night (that day) putting on makeup, taking it off & so on & so forth because it was the only thing that could take my mind off of the subject. we need to pray a lot.

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    1. I'm so happy that you understood exactly what I was trying to say. Much love to you. *hugs* xo

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  32. This may be my first comment... I'm very shy, but have been reading ur blog for a while now.

    I just want to say thank u so much for this post. Not everybody understands... When I feel overwhelmed with emotion (sadness, anger, nervousness, even happiness, etc) I like to paint my nails, make a DIY face mask, lay in freakin bed and read beauty blogs. Especially yours.

    The people closest to me think I'm being cruel, emotionless, lazy, unfocused, and that I have a serious problem...

    It's so hard to explain to them that this is what I do to ease the pain/stress/heartache. If I were reading a book, playing piano, writing, dancing, ANYTHING but makeup, that'd be acceptable, and they'd understand it's a therapeutic hobby. But for some reason makeup is selfish and vain. I try to compare it to painting a mural, but to no avail.

    I rambled on, sorry. Basically, although this horrific tragedy has occurred, I am grateful to have a place I can go and release some anxieties... Amongst those who completely understand.

    Thanks girl, I appreciate you, and what you're doing.

    <3 Simone

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  33. Dear G, thank you for being willing to mention these events and share your feelings with us, and even blog about beauty for us. As a new mom I can't even comprehend how it would feel to lose my child. I couldn't even believe this dreadful news was real at first....I was in shock that anyone could do that, either here or abroad. This post made me cry all over again but it felt like I was chatting with a friend and we were sharing the sadness.

    On a side note, I've had some bad health issues in the last 5 years (Lyme infection for 2 years, then fibromyalgia), and though I have enjoyed much better health for the last year and a half, I definitely agree with the other gals above who find a welcome distraction in health and beauty blogs. On the days I felt the worst, when I couldn't even get out of bed to go to work, I found blogs and YouTube tutorials an escape, and on the not-as-bad days, putting on my makeup was like mini-therapy in the morning. The worse I felt, the more care I took with my makeup, because it cheered me up to have a really nice eye design, or a really lush lip look. Since my illnesses were not very visible conditions, it helped me to feel more 'normal' if I looked normal and had some colour on my face.

    Anyways this comment is long and wandering but I couldn't be more appreciative of your work here or the lovely community that has taken root in this corner of the internet. Thank you so much for being such a sweetheart.

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  34. I understand. And no judgement at all here. I went and did some laundry and read while waiting for the clothes to finish their cycles. I had to do something to stave off the anxiety, and to keep from screaming. Still feeling heartbroken and helpless. I appreciate all you do, on any given day. But I especially appreciate your efforts right now.

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  35. I felt all the pain from the words in your post. I feel sad for all those people who lost loved ones out there. It is injustice and thanks for bringing it up in your blog. It is good to see bloggers out there that feel the way I do.

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  36. I actually got a job on that day. Was so excited, then walked into the house and could not believe my eyes. I cried, screamed, just sat still paralyzed by grief. I have a 2 and a 3 yrs old and can't even fathom, what the parents of the children, husbands, parents and love ones of the women are going through now. We can't celebrate christmas the same.... thank you for your post. Well said....

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  37. Whenever I see or hear somthing about what happened on Friday my eyes fill with tears. It is unimaginable to think of what happened to those teachers and administrators, and worse those young children. I have two children aged 6 and 8 and my heart breaks for the parents of those poor children, even the adult children. NO parent should have to bury their child. That's not the way it's supposed to work.

    Every few minutes there is a report about this saddest of tragedies in the media and although I am voluntarily knee deep in it trying to grab on to some something that will ease everyones pain, it remains. That is where you come in. We all need a break from this and you are it. Thank you for being there to distract us with normal routine.

    There are a bunch of new angels in heaven and we'll see them again some day but until then they will be dearly missed and I pray for those they left here on earth that they can find a way to cope with their devastating grief.

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  38. I scheduled Mondays post on Friday morning. If I hadn't I wouldn't have posted anything, it's just too horrific to talk about what to wear for your Christmas parties at a time like this. Bu like you I decided to continue posting. My reasons aren't as good as yours. I too believe we need something to help us forget the pain for a few minutes. Thank you so much for this post.

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  39. When the world seems to be falling apart - continuity of the regular routine helps me keep putting one foot in front of the other. Thank you for continuing to post - even if you say it is for yourself. The rest of us benefit as well.

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  40. Oh my gosh, G, I think I'm going to cry. I love you. You at such a beautiful sweetheart- that post said everything. We should NEVER FORGET how lucky we are. Please excuse me while I compose myself.

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