To say that the last few days have contained a flood of emotions is a gross understatement. I struggled with writing this post last night and again this morning, because I just can't find an eloquent way of expressing my feelings and I still can't, but I feel the need to write something, so here goes:
Two days ago it was my birthday. Then yesterday, I attended traffic school all day. During our lunch break yesterday, we all got word of what happened in Connecticut. And then someone shared that over 20 children were stabbed in a Kindergarten class in China. Needless to say, it was surreal to then have to return to discussions of traffic laws, but we somehow muddled through.
There's nothing I can say here that hasn't already been said in a thousand more powerful and heartfelt ways. I tried my best to push through yesterday and keep a smile on my face as Mr. G took me out for my big birthday surprise (I don't even feel right discussing that in this post, so I'll save it for another time). But inside, I struggled to keep from breaking down at every moment.
So the one thing I want to say to you is this: it feels really shallow to blog about beauty right now. I can't seem to get excited about it, and if I don't have my inner excitement pouring through my words and onto your screen, then I feel like I might as well not blog at all.
However, I realize that many, many of us use beauty blogs (and other types of online activities) as a means of escape when the problems and tragedies and heartbreaks of real life become too much to bear. I know first hand what it's like to have so much pain in your heart that you just want to run away and get lost in something that in no way reminds you of what you're going through. Whether that's looking at shoes, craft projects or pink lipstick, it doesn't matter. It's all silly, but it's something.
So I'm going to push through and keep blogging--and PLEASE don't view that as me saying, "I'm a martyr and even though it hurts, I'm doing it for you." That is NOT what I'm saying. I'm doing it for BOTH of us and, quite honestly, probably more for myself than anyone. It's one of the only things I can think of right now that I can do to take my own mind off children whose lives have been cut tragically short, children who have been robbed of their innocence, and families who are now grieving in ways that are incomprehensible to me.
When the evil and ugliness of our world become too much to process and we need something silly and stupid to take us away, even for just five minutes, please know that you are always welcome here. This sweet and loving little community will wrap you in its virtual arms and help you share in the small, silly delights of lipstick and nail polish, whenever you need it the most.
With all the love in my heart that I can muster,