Just know that I'm fully prepared for the "Disgusting!", "Gross!" and "Why would you buy these?" types of comments and well, if I wasn't actually writing this review, I might be inclined to leave a comment like that here myself!
But I'm writing this review for those of you who, like me, have a mild fascination or curiosity about non-traditional lip balm flavors. So if you're curious too, hopefully this will give you some insight and either make you run for the hills, or seek these out for yourself. So let's get started!
Claire's Flavored Lip Balms in French Fries and Macaroni and Cheese
(retail: $3.50 each, 0.32 oz)
Just in case you were compelled to bite off a chunk, don't do it:
Cute or scary anthropomorphism? You decide.
Although I haven't eaten at a McDonald's in many years, I still remember what their fresh-out-of-the-fryer french fries smell like and when you open this tube of lip balm, it literally smells JUST like that. It's like opening a bag of fries and taking a big whiff. I can detect the potato, the grease and even a touch of salt here.
Flavor-wise, this one misses the mark for me. It tastes kind of like a frozen, processed waffle and there's a touch of sweetness here that just throws me off completely. Both the flavor and fragrance dissipate very quickly.
This doesn't smell so much like mac & cheese to me as it does the neon orange powder of the old-school blue box variety. I'm a sucker for that blue box so you know what? I LIKE the smell of this. There. I said it. Judge if you must.
Flavor-wise, this actually does taste like the old-school blue box mac & cheese. Incredible. I get the powdered cheese, the butter and also a hint of cooked pasta in this one. It's definitely not baked, homemade five-cheese mac & cheese but were any of us really expecting that?
Again, the flavor and fragrance dissipate rather quickly with this one (like, within five minutes of application).
And here's something interesting that I wasn't expecting:
The French Fries balm has a pretty strong yellow tint to it. I'm sad to say that this color makes me think that I'm actually applying coagulated french fry grease to my lips but, if you can let that go, and you're looking for a yellow-tinted balm, this could be a bonus for you. The Macaroni and Cheese balm has a very, very slight yellow tint to it, but it reads clear on the lips.
FINAL VERDICT: Definitely not for everyone but if you've been curious about these, well now you know! My favorite of the two (if "favorite" is the correct word here) would be Macaroni and Cheese, because it brings back memories of old school neon orange cheese powder, and the taste is pretty spot-on as well. French Fries is fun for the scent alone, but it tastes nothing like french fries on my lips. In terms of formula, these lip balms are pretty standard when it comes to generic, inexpensive lip balms--sort of greasy, a bit grainy and not really something I'd reach for if I needed any real hydration. This could be a fun gag-gift, but it's not something I'd reach for again and again, although the scents do satisfy my cravings, in a really weird way. I don't know...if you're still curious after reading this review, then these might be worth a shot. Otherwise, I think you get the general idea, right?
Do you own any "strange" lip balm flavors? If so, tell us all about them in the comments. I'd love to hear!
The products featured in this post were purchased with personal funds. For more information, click here.